The Gang's All Here!

The Gang's All Here!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Prego vs Chemo

I was trying to explain to someone the other day how I'm really feeling. I've said it before, but the closest I've come to feeling this way was when I was pregnant. Is that weird? Probably, but it's all I've come up with. The two experiences aren't all that different (just hear me out!) when you really sit down and think about it. Battling cancer (at least for me and my treatment plan) will take the better part of a year. Pregnancy is about 10 months, give or take. In each case, your body is completely at the mercy of someone else. Obviously being pregnant means you get the added bonus of a baby after suffering nine + months of insanity. Of course, beating cancer and being alive is a pretty good perk too :)

In both situations, controlling the symptoms is key. Many of my friends who have been pregnant will tell you that they felt great, no complaints. I would even slide myself into this category, until I hit 28 weeks. Even if you feel wonderful during your pregnancy, at some point it starts to kick your ass. Being pregnant with Stella I had some serious complications that I had no control over. I feel like that compensated me when I had a super easy delivery with her - 3 hours start to finish (you can hate me, it's ok). I more than paid for that with Simon and 28+ hours in delivery. It's interesting because I didn't have any morning sickness with Simon, in fact, I was ravenous. Perhaps that's why I gained 400 pounds, I'm not sure. With Stella, I wasn't sick, but the nausea would creep up when I least expected it. I became a big fan of lemon drops with her! Also when pregnant with Stella I defintely had the strange pregnancy cravings. A few of my favorites included anything pumpkin (weird, right?), cantelope (which by the way I had NEVER eaten before being pregnant with her!) and Fritos. Diet of champions! With Simon I didn't have any particular cravings, I just wanted to eat everything in site. Good times, really :) Chemo has been somewhat similar for me. My appetite is good (too good, in my opinion) and I definitely have things that I crave. What are they? Talk about random, this week I can't get enough peanut butter or sauteed spinach (not together, even I have my limits). I told Steve last night that I could eat suateed spinach all day long and he just sort of looked at me. I don't blame him, I think that's a weird thing to crave too... According to the research out there, many people lose thier taste for food on chemo. Not me! So far, so good. The only other thing I REALLY might cause a ruckus over is a Frozen Coke (Slurpee for those of you up north!). I'm trying to talk myself out of it as we speak. Gosh talk about satisfying!

The hardest part of my pregnancies (other than being huge and uncomfortable) was the exhaustion. It's hard to really describe until you've been there, but it sucks. Like, I'm not sure I can go up the stairs because I may not make it I'm so tired. That's about how I feel now on chemo. I'm hoping that it's a good sign, the cancer cells are dying off and my body's working overtime to compensate. Some days are better than others, but I'm willing to admit that after round 4, chemo is taking a toll. The good news is that I only have two rounds left and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope I'm awake when I get there :)

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