The Gang's All Here!

The Gang's All Here!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Scattered Thoughts

It's finally stopped raining here in Georgia! Eight straight days of rain is enough to make even the sanest person crazy. My house is breathing a sigh of relief today because the kids AND dogs can be outside. We had golf ball sized hail here yesterday - that was interesting. I was mouthing a semi-silent prayer that it wouldn't shatter our skylights. Damn it was loud!

I've had a lot of people ask me what's next (health-wise) now that Emma has arrived. The truth is: I honestly have no idea. I have an appointment with my oncologist next week at which point I'm assuming we'll come up with a plan. At the very least, I know I'll have blood work done and most likely scans (in the next few weeks). I haven't had any scans since December of 2013, so I'm more than a little anxious to see what my body's been up to. As far as whether or not Ill be going back on Herceptin, I just don't know. When I last saw my oncologist she said she was leaning towards NOT going back on it. The results of my scans will most likely drive any decisions made at this point.

How am I feeling? I feel fine, I think. I have no aches or pains to speak of really (other than being a climbing post for 3 kids). I had forgotten how much the stupid infant carrier car seat thing weighs - holy moly! I am not working with a full set of muscles in my back which up until this point hadn't really bothered me. But, now that I'm doing tons of lifting between lugging the infant seat around and carrying Emma in strange position because she NEVER HOLDS STILL. Lawd have mercy that child is on the go. Even in my belly she was in constant motion. Is it too early to be thinking scholarships for sports with that one?!?! Anyway, I'm feeling great, all things considered. Yes, my anxiety is definitely kicking up a notch, mostly because I have been living in this nice little bubble, free from cancerland and all things related. Now that Emma's here, it's back to my "real world". So, fingers crossed all continues to be well with me!

Emma has her two month check-up next week as well. WHAT?!?! How is she two months old already? Time is just flying. It seems to move faster and faster with each kid too. Stella is officially registered for kindergarten (again, how is that possible?!) and her preschool graduation is less than a month away. Simon knows the alphabet by site and some site words. Sorry kid, I had NO IDEA he knew so much! He's always loved reading books with us, I guess I just never really thought to ask if he knew the letters?!?! Mommy fail...

So, lots going on at Casa de Hinman these days. I have to run as all three children are now screaming and we've escalated to Code Red status. That means mommy needs her medicine: Wine Time!!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Closing the Circle

My free time (LOL - free time, what's free time?!?! that's hilarious...) is severely limited these days. This is the first time I've touched our computer since the last time I updated the blog. A little part of me is dying (maybe has already died, IDK), but Stella and Simon are no longer napping. Stella is really too old for naps these days but I was REALLY hoping Simon wouldn't drop his nap yet. No such luck. So, that hour or two I used to have to myself in the afternoons to eat lunch, watch a show or update the blog is now gone. Sad face :(

Emma had her one month (what? already?!?!) checkup last week. She's growing like a weed! She gained almost two pounds and grew an inch and a half! The doctor thinks she's going to be tall and keep her blue eyes - fingers crossed!!

I mentioned in my last post that the medical staff working with me during Emma's birth was incredible. It's hard to express how important that was too me. Stella's birth experience was great, Simon's - not so much. Unfortunately, I remember more details from Simon's birth (probably because it was 100 times longer than Stella's. Anyway, after having had cancer and a gazillion surgeries, you can imagine it takes me quite a bit more time to get through my medical history with the staff. I have to give my first nurse credit, because she didn't bat an eye and rolled with everything I said. She was professional, but also caring and wanted to know how I was doing, etc. I will say that I was made to feel somewhat like a VIP given my frequent flyer status at my hospital. Hearing that Emma is/ was sort of a real life miracle from literally almost every person I encountered in the hospital was such an uplifting, "go team Hinman" rally cry. Any doubts I had about getting through the birth (given how I was feeling physically at that point) were put at ease. Of course, you all know that my OB is simply an amazing person and she was beyond excited to deliver Emma! It was the closing of a circle for both my OB and me. We started this crazy journey together when I was first diagnosed (99% of the credit goes to her), she got me through an incredibly high risk pregnancy and we reached the finish line having learned much more than either of us expected. So much of me being pregnant was an unknown in the medical field, thankfully this had a happy outcome!

In my mind, the most memorable and meaningful part of this story was my nurse that I had the morning and for the birth of Emma. I do have a powerful belief in that things DO happen for a reason. My nurse's mom had breast cancer, specifically: inflammatory breast cancer.  Y'all - this is so incredibly major because I have yet to meet ANYONE that's had IBC in person. I've been on this road for 3+ years and not once met anyone that's experienced IBC, either themselves or a caregiver. My nurse was so excited for me and to hear that we were delivering a healthy baby! Her mom is a 13 year survivor of IBC!!! How amazingly awesome is that? What are the chances of me meeting someone like her on the day I'm giving birth to my miracle baby? If that's not a sign of hope and fate working their magic, I don't what is. Hence, you have part of the reason for Emmaline's middle name. Of course, we also chose the middle name Hope for as a symbol for everything we've been through to get to this point. The journey has been long and not without fear and uncertainty, but here we are today, standing in the sunlight, enjoying this amazing life we've created.

Hindsight is always 20/20, but in this case, I can still look back with no regrets. Everything about this pregnancy felt as though it was meant to be. I've just accepted the fact that sometimes the universe has other plans, despite our best efforts to control life. I've come full circle and I feel blessed beyond measure to have this sweet baby girl to remind me that while I can't predict the future, I sure can enjoy the hell out of the present!