The Gang's All Here!

The Gang's All Here!

Friday, January 24, 2014

The Glitterbombing

I think this is the coldest winter I've experienced in my 9 years living in Georgia. I normally brag (to my friends in the north) that I can get by with just my fleece and maybe a scarf. Sometimes I go a little wild and break out my leather jacket if I'm feeling sassy that day. Well, not this winter. I've worn my puffy winter coat more this month than I have in the 6 years that I've owned it. And I bought it for the times that we're in Colorado... I even busted out my wool peacoat the other day and I haven't worn that since I lived in Virginia! So, damnnnnnn, it's cold outside! Although, not cold enough to prevent me from doing some shopping at one of my favorite outdoor malls yesterday. Walking around there was like walking through a wind tunnel, but desperate times and all that. And, I scored two pairs (2!) of boots for $40 at my favorite boutique. WINNING!! I also finally got around to getting my hair cut on Tuesday. It looks a thousand times better, especially without the mullet...

In other news, my children have decided to test what little sanity I have left. On Sunday evening, I made a quick trip to the grocery store (which is 5 minutes from our house) so I was gone a total of 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes, Stella managed to get her paint out of the cabinet in the office, paint most surfaces in that room and then paint Simon a lovely shade of Kelly green. I kid you not. You might be wondering what my husband was doing during the paint-a-thon and I cannot honestly tell you what he was thinking/ doing. But, surely by now he knows that with two toddlers running around when it suddenly gets quiet, major trouble is brewing. So, I arrived home to be greeted by Simon and his green hair...

On Monday night, Steve walked in the door and Stella disappeared. I swear she's part ninja. In the one (1!) minute that Steve and I exchanged greetings (how was your day, etc), Stella found two vials of glitter and proceeded to dump the first one over Simon's head (poor kid is going to have a real warped understanding of art supplies in a few years). The second one ended up on the floor of Simon's toy pirate ship. A neat factoid about glitter: it spreads to every imaginable surface and NEVER goes away. My first floor looks like a disco party gone bad and I'm still brushing glitter out of Simon's hair. That was fun explaining to both of their teachers, that yes, I do actually bathe my children and by the way, I'm really sorry about the glitter shower your classroom(s) are about to receive. I think being glitterbombed is an excellent way to push someone right over the edge. I'm sort of getting used to my sparkly dogs and glitter themed couch... We won't discuss the glitter that comes out of Simon's diapers...

On Wednesday, Simon was kind enough to shove a raisin up his nose. Yes, I was actually in the room and turned my head for one second to see what the damn dog was barking at. I have no idea if it came out or now. I called our nurse line for the pediatrician and she had me do a CPR-type move on him to try and get it out. Needless to say that didn't work (and Simon was not a fan at all) and I refuse to go sit in the ER for 6 hours. And of course, it happened in the 5 minutes before I needed to leave to pick up Stella from school. If the raisin is still up there buried in his nose, it hasn't bothered him in the slightest. I guess time will tell. Is it too early to send in my application for MOTY? I know it's only January, but I'm pretty sure I'm winning at best parenting ever. So, yes, I earned those boots after this week!!

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