Deja Vu

It's been quite a month and that could, potentially, be the understatement of my year. The week after Thanksgiving, I received a call from my oncologist saying that she was concerned as my tumor makers had come back elevated. Anyone who's dealt with cancer knows that this is not good, but also, could mean many different things. What are tumor markers? Tumor markers are described here by the American Cancer Society. The specific one they measure for me is the CA 27.29 marker, commonly associated with breast cancer and some other cancers. All sources are quick to point out that tumor markers are not a guaranteed science and not always a reliable test. That said, my tumor markers have always been steady. They jumped and my doctor took notice. So, what happens when you do have an elevated marker? Most of the time it's a "wait and see" attitude for a few months. Markers are retested and trends are studied. Unless you're me, in which case, all hell breaks loose and all bets are off. My oncologist ordered an emergency PET scan which I had done on Monday, December 9. Why did they act so quickly? Given the very aggressive nature of my cancer, she didn't want to take any chances or waste any time in case my cancer had returned. To say that I have been out of my mind with worry is again, a really big understatement.

The turn around time for my PET scan left me having to choose another site to have the test done, since the main hospital was booked for the next two weeks. I ended up going to another branch of my hospital located about 20 miles north of where we live - it's pretty rural up there. So rural, in fact, that their PET scan machine was actually a mobile unit. Yup, exactly like it sounds, it's a machine in a tractor trailer that travels to the smaller branches in the metro area. Pretty cool, when you really think about it, which of course I did, because what else can you think about sitting outside in a trailer in December waiting for the radioactive dye to move through your body? It was freezing!! I was also nervous because I didn't have my normal PET scan techs working with me. I'm telling you, in the almost two years that I've been at this cancer thing, I've gotten to know most of the techs for the different tests and I like them. It was tough working with different people! Anyway, other than almost freezing to death, the test was uneventful. However, this hospital gave me a copy of my scan to take home. WHAT??? "For my personal records" they said. We all know damn well as soon as I got home, Steve and I pulled those bad boys up on the computer and did our best to navigate through them. Clearly, this was a poor choice and radiologists have advanced degrees for a reason. Worried? Why not freak yourself out even more by comparing your PET scan images to those on Dr. Google. Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!!

Three days can be a VERY long time to wait for results, as I'm sure many of you know. Add to that recovering from surgery (I'm doing great by the way, this has been a breeze compared to the last two) and sorting out the mess from Steve's car accident (he's also fine and we're so thankful for that), Steve and I were about to jump the next plane to Tahiti. We've always known that there's a chance my cancer can return, but I've been feeling great and other than my brief run-in with sciatica, have had no complaints or reason to think we should be concerned. Some of you might even be upset that I didn't mention anything in my blog last week about this, but I didn't want to worry anyone until there was a reason to do so. I HATE knowing that I am causing people to worry (and I KNOW some of you do!).

We met with my oncologist December 12th. When she asked me how I was feeling, I told her that I wanted to throw up, depending on what she told me. Good news, she said, your scans are clear! Cue the trumpets and streamers!! She went on to say that they are baffled as to why my numbers jumped, especially since my PET scan was clean and my bone scan showed nothing.

Fast Forward to Christmas Day. We spent this Christmas in South Carolina at the Hinman Family Beach Compound. I woke up Christmas morning to... a huge bright red rash on my right foob (by the way, a foob is a fake boob...). I literally laughed at first, because the deja vu was uncanny. Literally two years ago to the freaking day is when I discovered my original rash. Don't worry, I quickly moved from laughing to total panic mode. Merry "I'mgoing tohaveacompletebreakdown" Christmas!! So, I spent my vacation between scouring Dr. Google looking at images of rashes to drinking too much wine because that was the only way I could relax even a little. Luckily, I had an appointment scheduled with my oncologist yesterday. I knew she was going to be annoyed (I count on her for that, she never panics and I love that about her. She doesn't like any "hiccups" in our regularly scheduled program). She has no idea what's going on with me and the good news (if there is any) is that the rash has spread to other parts of my upper body. So, she's sending me to the dermatologist for a check-up and a biopsy. My oncologist did say that she really didn't think this was cancer, but we're going to rule it out for good with the biopsy. She also said that my tumor markers are back to normal and that the test I had in November had to be a fluke. Amen to that! So, stay tuned as the drama continues... here's to hoping the 2014 is off to a better start than this week...