Closing the Circle

My free time (LOL - free time, what's free time?!?! that's hilarious...) is severely limited these days. This is the first time I've touched our computer since the last time I updated the blog. A little part of me is dying (maybe has already died, IDK), but Stella and Simon are no longer napping. Stella is really too old for naps these days but I was REALLY hoping Simon wouldn't drop his nap yet. No such luck. So, that hour or two I used to have to myself in the afternoons to eat lunch, watch a show or update the blog is now gone. Sad face :(

Emma had her one month (what? already?!?!) checkup last week. She's growing like a weed! She gained almost two pounds and grew an inch and a half! The doctor thinks she's going to be tall and keep her blue eyes - fingers crossed!!

I mentioned in my last post that the medical staff working with me during Emma's birth was incredible. It's hard to express how important that was too me. Stella's birth experience was great, Simon's - not so much. Unfortunately, I remember more details from Simon's birth (probably because it was 100 times longer than Stella's. Anyway, after having had cancer and a gazillion surgeries, you can imagine it takes me quite a bit more time to get through my medical history with the staff. I have to give my first nurse credit, because she didn't bat an eye and rolled with everything I said. She was professional, but also caring and wanted to know how I was doing, etc. I will say that I was made to feel somewhat like a VIP given my frequent flyer status at my hospital. Hearing that Emma is/ was sort of a real life miracle from literally almost every person I encountered in the hospital was such an uplifting, "go team Hinman" rally cry. Any doubts I had about getting through the birth (given how I was feeling physically at that point) were put at ease. Of course, you all know that my OB is simply an amazing person and she was beyond excited to deliver Emma! It was the closing of a circle for both my OB and me. We started this crazy journey together when I was first diagnosed (99% of the credit goes to her), she got me through an incredibly high risk pregnancy and we reached the finish line having learned much more than either of us expected. So much of me being pregnant was an unknown in the medical field, thankfully this had a happy outcome!

In my mind, the most memorable and meaningful part of this story was my nurse that I had the morning and for the birth of Emma. I do have a powerful belief in that things DO happen for a reason. My nurse's mom had breast cancer, specifically: inflammatory breast cancer.  Y'all - this is so incredibly major because I have yet to meet ANYONE that's had IBC in person. I've been on this road for 3+ years and not once met anyone that's experienced IBC, either themselves or a caregiver. My nurse was so excited for me and to hear that we were delivering a healthy baby! Her mom is a 13 year survivor of IBC!!! How amazingly awesome is that? What are the chances of me meeting someone like her on the day I'm giving birth to my miracle baby? If that's not a sign of hope and fate working their magic, I don't what is. Hence, you have part of the reason for Emmaline's middle name. Of course, we also chose the middle name Hope for as a symbol for everything we've been through to get to this point. The journey has been long and not without fear and uncertainty, but here we are today, standing in the sunlight, enjoying this amazing life we've created.

Hindsight is always 20/20, but in this case, I can still look back with no regrets. Everything about this pregnancy felt as though it was meant to be. I've just accepted the fact that sometimes the universe has other plans, despite our best efforts to control life. I've come full circle and I feel blessed beyond measure to have this sweet baby girl to remind me that while I can't predict the future, I sure can enjoy the hell out of the present!