The Gang's All Here!

The Gang's All Here!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Game Changer

First off, the bike race went so well! YSC had a great turnout, and other than it being in the '40's that morning, we had a blast. I am so thankful for our wonderful family and friends! Thanks again to all of you for your love and support!

With that said, go on and grab yourself a bottle of wine and maybe some cheese to go with it. You're going to need it for the this little gem of a blog post.

So... in case you hadn't heard through the very active grapevine, I'm pregnant. Whew, there I said it, finally. Yup, you read that correctly, P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. At this moment I realize you are either chugging wine, laughing hysterically or saying repeatedly, "what the hell!?!?". Or, more likely, you're doing all three. How pregnant am I? Um, all the way pregnant I guess? Someone asked me that the other day and I was like, well, I don't think there's a half pregnant option? I am 20 weeks along, so half baked!

I'm happy to tell you that baby is doing great and is measuring right on target at 20 weeks. All genetic testing has come back perfect, so fingers crossed things keep going smoothly. To answer your burning question, N-O, this baby was not planned and very much a surprise. We were told on several different occasions that the chances of me having another baby were slim and very risky, were I to actually get pregnant. We would likely have had to go through fertility treatments etc. Chemo wreaks havoc on the reproductive system as I'm sure you can imagine.We were perfectly happy with our family of four. So, you can imagine my COMPLETE shock when I found out I was pregnant. I want to emphasize that we were very much NOT trying to get pregnant, as I knew pregnancy would be a risk to both myself and a baby. And yet, here we are. It has become increasingly evident to me that sometimes, life is just out of our hands. We've decided to run with the surprise theme and will not be finding out the sex until March, when baby arrives.

How am I doing? Cancer-wise, I am fine. I was still on the Herceptin when I got pregnant, but we stopped it immediately and it has had no impact on the baby. My blood work has been perfect and will continue to be monitored throughout my pregnancy. My oncologist was shocked at the news, but then remembered that nothing with me is ever "normal" ;) Physically, I feel like CRAP. By now I'm sure you've noticed my lagging in keeping up with blog posts. That's mainly because for many, many weeks, it was all I could do to get through the day making sure both Stella and Simon were alive. The all day nausea, exhaustion and headaches have really kicked my ass. Of course, this is much more exaggerated for me, because I didn't feel bad at all with either of my pregnancies. So, karma, it really does exist. My deepest, sincerest sympathies to anyone having to endure morning (all day) sickness. For me, I have felt far worse this pregnancy than I ever did on chemo. But, it could always be worse, and as long as baby is doing well, I will endure.

I've really had to do some soul searching these past few months. Emotionally, I've been struggling coming to terms with stopping treatment and bringing another baby into our family. My number one concern is the health and well-being for this baby. And yes, of course my health is a huge factor in all of this. But, despite the complexity of everything we're facing, y'all, I'm pregnant! This baby is truly a miracle and one of the greatest symbols of hope I can imagine. I feel like I've been given a chance to start fresh, a new life to love and cherish. Who could ever ask for more than that?    

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