Bits & Pieces

It's been awhile since I've updated! We've been busy getting our summer on and just returned from a trip up to Virginia to see my parents and their new home. We had a great time visiting and my parents have a beautiful new house! Their new community has an absolutely amazing pool (complete with a pirate ship that shoots all sorts of water sprayers) and we were lucky enough to play there almost every day. The kids were excellent in the car and had a blast playing with cousins and new friends! I do wish I had time to catch up with everyone while home. I'm sorry if I missed you this trip and hopefully we can connect the next time I'm home!


My ear infection has finally cleared up and I'm feeling good these days. I am excited to tell you that a few weeks ago I purchased my bike for the Tour de Pink. You might be curious as to how my training is going. I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I start...


Steve and I celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss (well, maybe I should say 8 years of adventures in chaos) on June 17. It's amazing how fast time is flying by. A house that needs constant attention, two kids, two dogs and several cars later, we're better than ever and looking forward to what the next 8 years will bring. I just had the most horrifying thought - in another 8 years, Stella will be 12 and Simon will be 10. We won't mention the ages of Steve and I at that point because I am not physically able to say that number. Yikes...


I had treatment yesterday and have my 3 month check-up with the oncologist on July 10. Fingers crossed that all is well. I am assuming this is the case, as I'm feeling fine. I am probably due for a PET scan at some point, but I won't know until I see my doctor.


Murphy just stole an entire bag of snack size M&M's and came tearing into the office. I guess it was the magic elves who left the pantry door open. AGAIN. She ate another one of Steve's leather shoes last night. I'm off on an M&M rescue and recovery (yeah, right) mission. Try not to be envious of my glamorous life...

Rekindled Romance

Yesterday I decided that I just couldn't take it anymore. After 9 days of not being able to hear out of my right ear at all and waking up with my left ear hurting, enough was enough. I was very hesitant to go to the doctor after my experience with Dr. DB last week. I really thought maybe I was making myself crazy. So, rather than call up Dr. DB to get an appointment (which is probably what I should have done, but I'm seriously done with him), I went to the urgent care affiliated with my hospital, which is close to where we live. I'm so glad I went. The doctor (who, by the way, was once of the nicest men I have ever met) took one look at my ear and said, "Damn, no wonder you feel bad!". Instant gratification right there, people. He said my ears were full of fluid and that my ear drum was bulging. The doc said that would explain why I can't hear out of my right ear. He prescribed more prednisone (yay) and an antibiotic. Woohoo, I'm rekindling my romance with steroids! This marks my fourth round of prednisone in three months, which isn't cool, but if it will help restore my hearing, I'm willing to do just about anything. It seems as though along with killing my cancer, chemo also killed any resistance I had to the allergens here in Atlanta. Neat, huh?


I just wanted to update, it's been a rough two weeks. Feeling lousy doesn't do much for my positive state of mind. I'm optimistic that the drugs will kick in soon and I can get on with enjoying my summer!

The Breakup

You know it was bound to happen at some point. All good things must come to an end. I've been absolutely spoiled by my wonderful medical team. Well, that fantasy world came to a screeching halt last Wednesday afternoon. While vacationing in the mountains for Memorial Day weekend, my allergies fired themselves up something fierce. By Tuesday I felt downright terrible and when I woke up on Wednesday I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. My ENT had told me that if I started having trouble with my sinuses again to see him first. I called and was able to schedule an appointment with him that afternoon. That morning, my ear had also started to throb and then became blocked so everything sounded muffled. That was definitely a new symptom, I rarely have trouble with my ears.


Have you ever felt so awful that you just cried? That's how bad I felt by the time I got to the doctor's office. Needless to say, when he walked in, I had tears running down my face even though I was trying to hold it together since the kids were with me. His first words to me were: "why are you crying?", not hello, how are you, sounds like you're feeling bad. And he didn't say it nicely, he said, "why are you crying" like I was some sort of moron for even being there. So, yes, the visit was already off to a bad start. So, I replied like any emotionally exhausted female would and said, "I just feel terrible, I'm in so much pain". Dr. DoucheBag (which is how I shall now refer to him) replied by saying, "well, ear pain shouldn't be enough to make you cry". At this point I just stared at him, at a loss for words (shocking, I know). He went on to say that we've gone over several times about this ear pain - I stopped him at that point and I said that I had never complained of ear pain to him. That shut him up for about 2 seconds before he continued on about how ear pain really isn't that bad. Oh okay, then I guess I can go ahead a register at the funny farm because I'm surely making all of this up. ASS! I so, so, so wish I'd been in the state of mind to make a really sarcastic comeback, but I was barely functioning at that point. What I should have said was, "Oh, right. See, here's the thing. I've birthed two children, had several major surgeries AND been hit by my own car where I was knocked unconscious and broke a few bones. We won't even mention the dislocated fingers. And you know what? I didn't cry during ANY of that. So don't tell me what pain is you FREAKING JERK!!!".


Wow, guess I'm still a little pissed. Anyway, Dr. DB concluded the visit by telling me that there was nothing wrong. I couldn't believe that given how bad a felt, that there was nothing seriously wrong. He must have felt slightly sorry for me, because he did give me a steroid/ vitamin B12 shot to help with the immediate symptoms. Nothing like a shot in the butt to round out my feeling of complete mortification. I will be breaking with up with Dr. DB. Here's to hoping I don't need an ENT anytime in the near future...


We had a wonderful trip to the Georgia Blue Ridge mountains. The weather mostly cooperated and we all have a great time. Some highlights from the trip included gem stone mining (very fun if you've never done that, the kids loved it!), dads and kids fishing, moms relaxing in the rocking chairs on the back deck overlooking the mountains and plenty of champagne to accompany us. We're looking forward to the next time we can head to the mountains!

Travelling Circus

Our trip to Sandestin was wonderful! Steve and I had a great time filled with sunsets, bonfires on the beach, good friends and of course, plenty of free flowing booze :). If you've never been to the Florida Panhandle (or Redneck Riviera as it's sometimes referred to), you are missing something special. The gulf coast is gorgeous and will not disappoint.


Coming back to reality has been a cold, hard smack in the face this week. It's been a double whammy because the kids finished up with school last week, so they've been home with me. ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. I am exhausted. Several times yesterday I found myself questioning how I had two kids home all the time while on chemo. Clearly if I can survive chemo with a newborn and a toddler, I can make it through this summer. But if this week is any indication, it's going to be a L-O-N-G summer. Not that I'm complaining (at least, not loudly), I love having them with me and we do have lots of fun. Now that Simon is mostly talking in sentences and Stella speaks with the mouth of a 25 year old, it's never quiet. I no longer have any personal thoughts because I am unable to turn off the endless chatter. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing both kids talk and laugh (but not scream, which they really seem to love doing) but it's not quiet. EVER. Luckily, we have lots of fun things to look forward to including trips to Virginia and South Carolina, swimming lessons and lots of pool time!


Thankfully, we are departing reality tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'll do when we're in town for longer than a week or two. We're heading to the North Georgia Mountains for some R & R with some good friends. We've rented a cabin and are looking forward to relaxing and being outdoors. Bring on the campfire, s'mores and wine!


I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday and was cleared for my last procedure, yay!!!! The last step is getting my tattoos (I had nipple reconstruction in April, then they tattoo the areolas - it's amazing how realistic they look). My tatt date is scheduled for July 1, which I find to be an incredibly ironic date. July 2 of 2012 was my first surgery and two years to the damn day, I will finally be finished with all of the reconstruction. I'll toast to that!!

Poor Choices

I'm a whirling dervish of ADD today. I am attempting to pack AND clean my house at the same time. Needless to say, I'm basically spinning in circles. Currently, I'm procrastinating by updating the blog. Steve and I are headed to San Destin (FL) tomorrow for a kid free weekend away - do you hear the angels singing?!?!?! Each year his company sends everyone (and a spouse/ spice) to an out-of-town destination for a weekend of fun and debauchery relaxation. Last year we went to Savannah and several years ago it was in Asheville. Steve works with such a fun, enthusiastic group, it's impossible NOT to have a good time.


Steve's parents have been kind enough to volunteer to come stay with the kids while we're gone. That would be the reason that I need to clean the house. This house looks like a bunch of hooligans live here. The tumbleweeds of dog hair are almost the size of Simon and I just ran the vacuum last week... Plus, we have the normal arsenal of toddler toys. Last Friday, someone left a truck out and I stepped on it. It zoomed out from under my foot and I landed flat on my hip and face. I'm sure I looked like something out of a cartoon. As I was laying on the floor willing myself to get up and not drop a few F-bombs, Stella looked at me and said, "Well Mommy, it's looks like you need to be more careful". Gee thanks, sweetheart. Once I was able to limp away, I went directly to the kitchen and poured myself a beer (I'm pretty sure it was after 5pm at that point). I won't even mention the 85 loads of laundry still waiting to be folded...


Continuing with all things amazing in my life, I would like to offer you a very important piece of advice. Never, EVER attempt to highlight your own hair at home. You're welcome, in advance. I decided to be cheap and DIY at home. I have to say that was one of the poorest choices I have made in recent memory. As you know, my hair is dark. All I was attempting to do, was add some lighter brown into the dark, boring brown. I've had my hair highlighted (by a professional) a million times, so naturally I assumed I could do my own hair. HAHA LOL! Instead of the highlights being a few shades of brown lighter, they turned out brassy blonde, my favorite (NOT!) with my super dark brown hair underneath. Try to match that level of hotness. Honestly, I looked like a drug dealer in a mug shot looking for a score. Sigh...  So off I went to the store to purchase some more boring brown to cover up my poor attempt at hair styling. I am happy to inform you that my hair is back to brown and hasn't fallen out yet...


Anyway, I'm running out of time to get anything done. Surely I can dust, vacuum and fold laundry at the same time, right?!?!?!

Mommy Fail

I just stepped in dog shit people. No really, I did. In my house. Seriously. I'm beyond irritated, so I'll apologize in advance for what I'm sure is going to be a ranty, ugly mess of a blog entry. Murphy has been on a tear this week. Not really sure what the special occasion is, but she's pooped in the office almost everyday this week. She also refuses to go upstairs without being carried (that's a whole lot of fun right there trying to carry an 80lb + stubborn dog up the damn stairs). I've lost count of the number of toys/ objects/ loofas that she's destroyed this week. Murphy clotheslines the kids on a regular basis outside, not because she's mean spirited, she's just that much of a klutz. You should see the bruise I have on my knee from where she rammed into me full force with her giant blockhead. She was chasing her ball...


This has been one of those weeks where I grossly overextended myself. Even pre-cancer, pre-kids, pre-thirtysomething Erin would have struggled to get everything accomplished. I take full responsibility for my actions because I am terrible at saying no. Unless it involves my children or my dogs, because then? Oh yeah, GAME ON! So, I'm exhausted. It was teacher appreciation week (and my kids have had absolutely fantastic teachers this year), and being a room mom for one kid and along with being a good "participating" mom for the other kid, I had to hit the ground running this week. Which I did, mostly. I had great plans of doing cute little candy-type gifts that I saw on Pinterest for Simon's teachers. My attempt was a joke and I ended up running out to get cupcakes for his teachers instead. Check out these Pinterest Fail (nailed it!) pictures, they are hilarious! If you've ever attempted a Pinterest project and failed miserably, you will absolutely LOVE this website!


Things this week would have been much easier if I hadn't been scared to death that I was going blind. Overdramatic? Most assuredly, but obviously you know me pretty well at this point, so you should expect nothing less! My right eye turned red on Saturday and hurt a bit. Well, that little vision of loveliness rotated between both of my eyes all week. It was bad enough on Wednesday that I threw out the white flag, took out my contacts and have been wearing my glasses ever since. I HATE wearing my glasses all the time. They don't fit correctly and constantly slide down my nose. I'm quite the picture this week between my red eyes and ill-fitting glasses. Also, my hair looks atrocious because I can't seem to blow-dry it with my glasses on. How do people do that?!?! And, no, I'm pretty sure I don't have pink eye because everyone else in this house is fine. I'm guessing it's allergy related. The good news is that today, my eyes are closer to being white rather than the color of fire. Try not to be too envious of my fabulousness, okay?


In my spare time, I had my volunteer hours to complete and 5,000 errands to run. Stella has started swimming lessons at the Y and I made the mistake of calling her out for not listening to her teachers on the first night. She was so pissed at me for saying she wasn't listening, that she ignored me for an hour. When I tried to talk to her about why not listening is dangerous in a pool, she turned it around on me saying that I told her, "she's a terrible swimmer" and "she'll never be the bestest swimmer ever". Excuse me, but what the hell?!?!?! Is this kid 4 or 16? I, apparently, ruined her life with a single comment. Don't worry, she took her mood out on Steve too, poor guy had nothing to do with the situation! Luckily, the second class went much smoother and I managed to keep my big fat mouth shut.


Stella also had her school program on Wednesday. Their performances are always adorable. As the kids were walking down the aisle, Simon saw Stella (he was sitting with me) and yelled, "HI STELLA!!". He ran up to her and gave the biggest hug, it really was cute. Well, cute, until I had to pull him away from her and he started screaming, "MY STELLA!!!!" at the top of his lungs. He then proceeded to throw himself in the middle of the aisle and cry. It's a shame there's not an award for worst mothering in a public place. I'm pretty sure I'd have that one in the bag. Is it happy hour yet?!?!?

Updates in Cancerland

Camp Hope was once of the most amazing experiences I've ever had in my life. Honestly, I knew it would be awesome but I just didn't realize how incredibly awesome it would be. I made some wonderful new friends, 5 of which share my oncologist. Needless to say, we had lots to talk about. I can't really explain how good it feels to be around people who just "get it". I was amazed, horrified, encouraged and touched by each person's experience. That's the funny thing about cancer: each and every person has a unique experience, and no two people share exactly the same journey. Maybe that's why we all bonded as quickly as we did. We could skip the OMG, you have/ had cancer, how are you feeling? stuff and get straight to the living and moving forward part. And, oh, what a refreshing experience that was! I am so grateful and honored that I was able to take part in such a caring, fun and most importantly, meaningful weekend. I should also add that Camp Twin Lakes is an absolutely gorgeous place, filled with so much hope and courage. Please check them out, they are such a special group of people!


Continuing in the realm of all things cancer related, I had major drama yesterday at treatment. My port decided it would be great fun to cop a major attitude and refuse to work. NEAT (<--- extreme sarcasm here). I did bends, twists, breathing/ not breathing, sitting up, lying down, you name it. NOTHING WORKED. This is not good for two reasons. One, it means that something is up with the port and two, I would have to have TPA injected into my port (which is essentially liquid Drain-O, lovely, right???). That's all well and good except that TPA requires AT LEAST 30 minutes to work before they can try flushing the port again and getting blood return (which they have to have because I have to have my blood tested before I can have treatment). Well friends, I got a little pissy with the staff (Irish temper rears it's ugly head) because there was no way on earth I could spend an extra hour or two there waiting for the Drain-O when I HAD to pick up the kids from school. So, I told them what they were going to do (and I'm really not a demanding person, but if I've learned nothing else from the cancer crap, it's that I have to be my own advocate) and if they wouldn't do that, then I was leaving. Well, the stars aligned for a brief moment yesterday and my wishes were granted. STAT. How 'bout them apples?!?!? I even ended up being a few minutes early to pick up the kids! But, in all seriousness, I'm considered an "old timer" at this point and I'm not a complainer, so I'm glad I spoke up. Of course, my speaking up meant getting jabbed with two additional needles, an IV in my hand and Herceptin thru the IV. But, whatever... The good news is that they also put the TPA in my port and it did eventually work. Lawd have mercy...


In other news, Steve and I have decided to participate in the Tour de Pink here in Atlanta. It's a bike race to raise money for the YSC. and their research in finding a sure for breast cancer. We have revived our team: When Irish Chicks Are Fighting that my awesome sisters created when they walked the 3 Day in 2012. Steve and I have pledged that we're going to ride 100 miles - because we are completely crazy we're feeling up to the challenge! Please consider making a donation or coming out to cheer us on October 25th. So, at some point I need to get a bike and do something called "exercise". I'll keep you posted on my training (or lack there of!).