The Game Changer

First off, the bike race went so well! YSC had a great turnout, and other than it being in the '40's that morning, we had a blast. I am so thankful for our wonderful family and friends! Thanks again to all of you for your love and support!

With that said, go on and grab yourself a bottle of wine and maybe some cheese to go with it. You're going to need it for the this little gem of a blog post.

So... in case you hadn't heard through the very active grapevine, I'm pregnant. Whew, there I said it, finally. Yup, you read that correctly, P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. At this moment I realize you are either chugging wine, laughing hysterically or saying repeatedly, "what the hell!?!?". Or, more likely, you're doing all three. How pregnant am I? Um, all the way pregnant I guess? Someone asked me that the other day and I was like, well, I don't think there's a half pregnant option? I am 20 weeks along, so half baked!

I'm happy to tell you that baby is doing great and is measuring right on target at 20 weeks. All genetic testing has come back perfect, so fingers crossed things keep going smoothly. To answer your burning question, N-O, this baby was not planned and very much a surprise. We were told on several different occasions that the chances of me having another baby were slim and very risky, were I to actually get pregnant. We would likely have had to go through fertility treatments etc. Chemo wreaks havoc on the reproductive system as I'm sure you can imagine.We were perfectly happy with our family of four. So, you can imagine my COMPLETE shock when I found out I was pregnant. I want to emphasize that we were very much NOT trying to get pregnant, as I knew pregnancy would be a risk to both myself and a baby. And yet, here we are. It has become increasingly evident to me that sometimes, life is just out of our hands. We've decided to run with the surprise theme and will not be finding out the sex until March, when baby arrives.

How am I doing? Cancer-wise, I am fine. I was still on the Herceptin when I got pregnant, but we stopped it immediately and it has had no impact on the baby. My blood work has been perfect and will continue to be monitored throughout my pregnancy. My oncologist was shocked at the news, but then remembered that nothing with me is ever "normal" ;) Physically, I feel like CRAP. By now I'm sure you've noticed my lagging in keeping up with blog posts. That's mainly because for many, many weeks, it was all I could do to get through the day making sure both Stella and Simon were alive. The all day nausea, exhaustion and headaches have really kicked my ass. Of course, this is much more exaggerated for me, because I didn't feel bad at all with either of my pregnancies. So, karma, it really does exist. My deepest, sincerest sympathies to anyone having to endure morning (all day) sickness. For me, I have felt far worse this pregnancy than I ever did on chemo. But, it could always be worse, and as long as baby is doing well, I will endure.

I've really had to do some soul searching these past few months. Emotionally, I've been struggling coming to terms with stopping treatment and bringing another baby into our family. My number one concern is the health and well-being for this baby. And yes, of course my health is a huge factor in all of this. But, despite the complexity of everything we're facing, y'all, I'm pregnant! This baby is truly a miracle and one of the greatest symbols of hope I can imagine. I feel like I've been given a chance to start fresh, a new life to love and cherish. Who could ever ask for more than that?    

Tour de Pink

It's hard to believe, but the Atlanta Tour de Pink event is next weekend, October 25!! Our team, When Irish Chicks Are Fighting will be biking to help raise money in the fight against breast cancer via the Young Survival Coalition. This is an amazing organization dedicated to helping women under the age of 40 with breast cancer. While tremendous strides have been made in treating women with breast cancer, we still have a long way to go in terms of fighting back and winning this war. Please consider making a donation to help in the effort to expand breast cancer research, treatment and education for all of those battling breast cancer.

Thank you so much for all of your support, kindness and encouragement throughout my own personal journey battling breast cancer. I feel so incredibly humbled and grateful to be able to share my story with all of you, to be able to say "I BEAT CANCER!!". How's that for some serious kickass motivation?!?!

Here are some links to the Atlanta Tour de Pink event and our team page.

                **ATL Tour de Pink: link to the event page. You can find out more about the YSC and                           fundraising efforts here

                 **When Irish Chicks are Fighting:  This is our team page!

Thank you!!

Exasperation: I Admit it!

I'm still here, promise. I just honestly haven't had much time to myself, let alone time to type, uninterrupted, in weeks. All, is mostly well, I'm just having trouble keeping up with my life these days.

We seem to be lacking in the sleep department lately. If it isn't one kid up at three a.m., it's the other, needing necessary things like water, a story (I mean, really?) or a tissue. Because, you know, it's not a problem for either child to come busting out of their room every five seconds during "nap" time, but during the night? No siree, it's much more effective to start screaming in the middle of night, waking up mom or dad from a dead sleep. Oh, and if, god forbid, BOTH children sleep through the night, the damn dogs are up at three a.m. barfing or needing to go outside. Never mind the fact that we took them out right before we went to bed...

So yeah, I'm a little grumpy and exasperated these days. Simon is testing me on virtually every level possible. Everything is a battle or negotiation. I'm living with a three foot tall dictator. Just now, he's sitting here on the floor of the office screaming his head off because I asked/ told/ begged him not to touch the computer. And, he turned the computer off, rendering everything I had just typed lost in space. Awesome. A battle of wills would be an understatement. It's everything from I poured the cereal wrong (in case your were not aware that there is a correct way to pour cereal...), to the dog licking his shoe (this is a HORRIBLE offense), or asking him to brush his teeth (god help us all). I am drained.

Stella, on the other hand, would be perfectly satisfied if she never had to deal with me again. Everyday I receive a diatribe on the ways that I'm ruining her life. For example, brushing her hair is akin to an attack on national security (a big, freaking deal). Asking her to put on her shoes? An exercise in negotiations for world peace. We won't even discuss what asking her to pick up her toys entails because I get hives just thinking about it. Oh, and right after I had cleaned the kitchen today? She found a bag of cornmeal and proceeded to dump the entire bag all over my freshly cleaned kitchen. Murphy was helping when I walked in from using the restroom...

I know this isn't a super, upbeat post, but honestly? I'm beat. Can someone please tell me that it gets better???? Obviously, I love my children and a lot of the time I spend with them, but wow, days like this (or weeks, in this case) are tough to swallow. Thanks for letting me vent!

And, Murphy just dragged a dead animal into my house. GAH! Tootles...

Summer Break, Part 2

Let me just preface this post by sharing that my children have been on fall break (or, more realistically, summer break part 2) for the ENTIRE week. I am warning you in advance, should you notice a slightly manic, definitely exhausted air...

So, yes, the dear children are on a week long hiatus after a grand total of three weeks in school. In defense (I guess... not really), the county schools started August 4th, so they've been at it for a few extra weeks. But still, people, it's hot, we've been to the pool, the mosquitos are still attacking in rapid numbers and I got sun burned last weekend. I'm just referring to this little sojourn as Summer Won't Die, so let's party like it's June. It's hasn't been terrible that bad having the kids home, but gosh darn it, we had JUST gotten into the weekday/ school/ back-to-reality routine. The kids were at school learning, I was running a million errands and getting so.much.done. That has come to a screeching halt this week, because anyone who has a child will understand the stamina and will power required to run errands with small children. It's a marathon, (a very dirty, knock down marathon), not a sprint. A quick run to pick up a *few* things at the grocery turns into an hour ordeal because I didn't pick the right frozen pancakes and suddenly there are maddening opinions on the right kind of goldfish. You get the point. And let's not even discuss the Mothership that is Target. Might as well strap on a trailer to our cart, because it ain't going to be pretty. I received a 20 minute diatribe from Stella on the merits of Halloween décor yesterday while at Target...

In other news, I'm pretty sure Murphy is trying to confirm my reservation at the funny farm. That dog is going to be what sends me directly to the quick side of Crazytown. The other day, before 9am, she managed to poop in the office (where Steve was working, right next to his desk!!!) immediately after I had taken her outside, destroy a piece of the kids artwork, pee by the back door, steal a loaf of bread off on the counter (and consume it, bag and all) while I walked into the laundry room to grab backpacks and lunch boxes. During the 20 minutes I was upstairs showering, dressing and getting the kids ready for school, she pooped in the office again (carb overload?!?) and chew up a kids toy. After I ran the kids to school (15 minutes, tops), Murphy had gotten into my brand new box of Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Coffee. K Cups were scattered all over the kitchen in varying degrees of destruction. She greeted me with the shredded box in her mouth. I will say, to her credit, she knew I was pissed. She hung her head and walked straight to the back door to go outside. I was able to salvage about half of the K cups, but seriously?!?! Those are not cheap, and HELLO - they were pumpkin!! She capped off that wonderful day by pooping one final time in the office...

Come Tuesday, it's back to the real world for us. I'm not sure I could be more excited!!!!

Last Blast of Summer

I'll apologize in advance- I'm updating from the iPad, so it's likely I'll forget to add words and not proofread ;)

Life in the Hinman house has been busy the past couple of weeks. School is going well for the kids and they really seem to be enjoying their teachers/ classes. I continue to be amazed that Simon has come so far socially. He's chatting up a storm in class and is enthusiastic intelling me about his day. I love it!!! Stella is rocking preK- I'm thrilled she's being challenged academically. She actually has homework every night. Of course, she thinks it's awesome, I've been struggling with the added responsibility of making sure it gets done...

We headed to the Hinman Family Compound in South Carolina over Labor Day for some much needed family and beach time. The kids had a blast at the beach and pool. Cousin time is always a special treat :). The weather was fantastic, although hot.

As for me, I've split my time between doctors appointments, volunteering, carpool and soccer practice. While I do miss the long, lazy days of summer (and let me say that it is still very much summer here, temps in the 90's, hot, humid and storms every afternoon...), it's nice to be back on a schedule! Stella has her first soccer game of the season tomorrow morning and we have one final pool party on Sunday.

Bring on the cooler (notice I said cooler, not COLD) weather, pumpkin everything and college football! Happy fall, y'all!!

Car Connundrums

This week has been crazy! Back to school + car drama = one tired mama. Fortunately, school has been a delight (or mostly a delight for Simon - he did have one of his epic meltdowns when I dropped him off on Thursday...which ended as soon as I left the room and then he had a great day...) for both kids. I have to say I am quite impressed with the Pre K experience so far for Stella. They both wonderful teachers and classmates, so I'm looking forward to a great year!

So, back to the car drama. I mean, really, no Hinman story is ever complete without some kind of car issue. Last Thursday, I decided to treat the kids to Menchies (delicious froyo) or "Mint Cheese" (gross, I know) as Stella refers to it. As we were pulling into the parking space, my brake pedal went to the floor (without braking) and we slammed into the curb. First and foremost, I am still thanking my lucky stars that we were going slow and in a parking lot. Can't even imagine if we had been on an actual road, or even worse, at highway speed... The kids thought it was funny and I managed a somewhat psychotic sounding laugh that they fell for. At that point, 157 warning indicator lights appeared on the dash which is never good. I had been debating whether or not to have any froyo until that moment. You can bet the farm that I fixed myself up a lovely froyo concoction to soothe my frazzled nerves. And it was damn tasty.

I refused to drive the car after that and Steve took it to the dealership on Friday. A whole lot of $$$ and a weekend later, it was revealed that there was a massive brake pump failure. No, that's not the technical term, but you get the point. On the plus side, they loaned us a brand new Toyota Highlander to drive which was lovely. Steve picked up my car on Monday afternoon and I was all set to take the kids to school on Tuesday (the first official day of school). Tuesday morning drop off went fine until I went to restart the car after dropping the kids in their classes. Upon starting, the check engine light and 45 (<--- sarcasm) other lights also came on. I was so PISSED! The check engine light wasn't on at the beginning of all of this mess. Poor Steve got an earful (clearly I know it's not his fault, but he's a man and men are supposed to know ALL of the things in regards to cars, right???). Also, I should add that I HAD to be at the hospital that morning to volunteer.

All of that said, after I daringly drove my car to and from the hospital at highway speeds (I'm a badass, I know...) with the check engine light blaring at me, I rolled up the dealership before I picked up the kids. Luckily, my new BFF Charlie was working (our service guy) and he immediately came out to look at the car and was baffled as to why the light was on. Given my time crunch, he offered me a loaner so I could get the kids - this time a new RAV4, which, while cute, is very small. I was in a full blown sweat (keep in mind it was 2,000 degrees outside and a million percent humidity), by the time I unloaded and then reloaded and installed Simon's carseat and Stella's booster. Is there anything more exasperating than trying to install a carseat when you're in a hurry and sweating a river???? Anyway, I made it just in time to get the kids and blow Stella's mind at carpool with a different car She may never forgive me for that one...

Wouldn't you know the minute I picked up the kids, they called to say the car was fixed?!?! They had forgotten to reset the freaking codes (or something like that, I don't even know). So, we hauled ass back over to the dealership, where I again unloaded and reloaded the carseats. I was a sight, let me tell you! The best part of this whole story? When we got home, as I walking around the car, I noticed that they had forgotten to put the damn wheel cover back on. Christ on a cracker!!!!! So, we'll be making yet another trip to the dealership this weekend and I swear if there's even one more issue, I'd better be walking out of there with a brand new damn car! TGIF...

August

Somehow it's the middle of August and my kiddos are headed back to school next week! Which is late, ironically, because the county kids here went back last Monday, the 4th. We're hoping to head to the pool one last time this week, if the weather will cooperate. We've been stuck in this "tropical" weather pattern for a few weeks now, so it's been hot, muggy and stormy. My poor house could sure use a break!

I know I haven't updated much this summer, but I think that's a good thing?!?! There just isn't anything to report from Cancerland (always a positive), I'm feeling great and there's no need for any scans or testing at this time. My volunteering has gone well, but I haven't been able to put in as much time as I'd like, due to the kids being home for the summer. I'm looking forward to those hours picking up this fall.

Steve has stepped up his game and is training for another half ironman. He was really into these before Stella was born. I'm so proud of him for picking it back up and focusing on staying healthy! He has a couple of races in late August/ early September and then the half ironman is at the end of September. He should be more than ready for our bike race at the end of October! Speaking of the Tour de Pink, we'd love to have your support as we raise money for breast cancer research through the YSC. You can check out our team page here. I'm riding my bike when I can...

It's been a great summer and I'm a little sad to see it come to a close. But, I'm also looking forward to fall, my favorite season. Here's to cooler weather, anything pumpkin flavored and college football!